We all need a good laugh, for those of you heading for Services or Mass you might like to wait till later in the day.. But, which ever time element you choose, please drive carefully out there.. There are certain terminology’s that will catch your eye, apparently the author of the joke is British..
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver’s licence?
Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got caught drunk driving.
Officer: May I see the MOT certificate and insurance for this vehicle?
Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the insurance certificate in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.
Officer: There’s a BODY in the boot?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his sergeant. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the sergeant approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Sergeant: Sir, can I see your driving licence?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Sergeant: Who’s car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the logbook, MOT certificate and insurance.
The driver owned the car.
Sergeant: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Sergeant: Would you mind opening the Boot? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Boot is opened; no body.
Sergeant: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a driving licence, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the Boot.
Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet the lying swine told you I was speeding, too.”
“A husband and wife are shopping in their local Walmart
The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their basket.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife. ‘They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies. ‘Put them back, we can’t afford them, demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the husband. ‘It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,’ replies the wife. Her husband retorts: ‘So does 24 cans of beer and it’s half the price.’ He never knew what hit him.”